My family is nomadic. We move around a lot due to dads' job requirements. I personally found it extremely enjoyable. It was because of this nomadic lifestyle that I have had such a unique childhood.
People say that you can't uproot your children too much during their formative years for fear of destabilising their emotional growth. I don't understand the whole social/psychological whatever it is that's connected to this, but I personal disagree. I've been constantly on the road even till today. Back in the day, it was with my family. As I grow older, I start to have to move on my own. Throughout all my journey's I neither regret nor rue any of these journey's I made by force or by choice. Throughout my childhood, I think I've moved house about 7 or 8 times. Some might argue that they're on a very small scale because I only moved within the state and within the country. They aren't wrong, I never really had too hard a time adjusting to a completely new culture like some other kids. But they were all still significant journeys nevertheless.
I've been moving all my life along the west coast of Malaysia, and in all those travels, I've gotten to know so many people from so many different states and the different cultures. Staying in a place is completely different from visiting a place. Even though I was never really long at any of the states, my friends from each of these places, always consider me their own people from their own home state. They've included me in almost all of their racial and cultural stereotypes (langkawians know how to speak mandarin in the most unique way, klians always double park, penangites are scary drivers, etc.). In more ways than one, I'm very proud to be included with these people. Travelling opens up your mind. Showed me a lot more sights than an average kid would see if they only stayed in one place, and gave me far more stories to tell. Everywhere I go, I can find someone who's probably lived beside me or seen the same things I've seen (I know I sound like I'm talking out of my arse here, but it really is kind of fun to share a common past), and the best part is, sometimes, different groups of your friends turn out to actually know each other and you wouldn't have expected in a million years that they're common friends. Yes it all sounds good and dandy now. But constant travellings aren't without its' drawbacks.
Every year for me, it's a constant series of goodbyes. I hate goodbyes. I hate them as much as the next person. No one likes to say goodbye. Not if they're having a good time. At least that's what I think people feel. Over the years, I grew accustomed to it. I still never cease to feel really crappy everytime I have to leave a place or a familiarity. But I've long since began to look for new sights in a new place. Having a new room to redecorate according to your own tastes (hasn't happened yet), seeing new people, observing new people behaviour. But there are many points in my life that I look back, and think of the great times I've had with everyone. I was never a really well-liked person by my circle of friends anywhere. I think the only reason some of my old time friends are friendly to me today is because I am a rare sight that they do not see that much. As such, I am hardly able to annoy them. Looking back, it is a sad predicament that I've long come to terms with. However, it gives me great relief that everywhere, I have still, among the legions of friends who are today, more like acquaintances, some really good friends who really appreciate my presence, enjoy my company, want to include you in their lives, and would do a whole lot for me. See that's real life insurance. I make it a point to stay as close as possible to my friends even as I'm far away. They're my most important commodity. My family is my possessions and my friends are my most trusted currency.
Rewinding a few years back, my first venture out alone. This time, for the first time in my life, my family was physically moving apart. Not emotionally or mentally or whatever. Just that my dad was moved to a new work place without an international school. It was his first venture overseas. As such, my brothers could not be uprooted to follow him and naturally, my mother stayed behind to take care of them at Malacca. I, had just finished my high school education, and made a life changing decision to pursue audio as a supplement to my one lifelong on and off (most usually on) obsession, music. On the same day my dad flew away, I also had to say goodbye to my mom to go live on my own. Sounds very sad right??? I'm not sure about you guys but it was for me. Little did I know that I actually had no reason to be too torn up at all.
I started college in the month of June (I think). I was still a young kid who knew nothing about the business I was trying to get into. However, I looked like a was a veteran. Sadly, that gave a lot of people the wrong perception about my musical knowledge and industry involvement. I would clarify such misunderstandings as soon as it arises, but sadly, some take it as me being snobbish (I was just being honest you stupid f****.....).
During orientation, some of the first people I met, were Indian guys. A whole group of them. Then I got to know more and more Indian guys (which was weird because my mom always said I spoke with the Indian accent all my life). Of course, I met other people of other races as well, but the most significant ones were Indian. I got to know the Africans and the Indonesians. Along the way, met a lot of Penangites who knew where my house was and knew the same people I knew (see why I think travelling is awesome???). Either way, soon after, I grew close and comfortable to a group of people as I have never been with any friends. I was never really sure what they thought of me. But I am confident that, at most times, my company was enjoyed though not always appreciated. Which was fine with me. I personally suppose that's how it is for almost everyone. This was the beginning of my new life. People whom I feel comfortable with and are comfortable enough with me to actually depend on me for some things. These were people who didn't know my past and asked me about it. Some of them even found it interesting. I was very happy with my college life. A safe and proper clique that I felt like I belonged. A number of us ended up moving in together. It was the perfect set up in my opinion. We all had some issues with each other but it was a housemates arrangement and to me, it was normal and happened everywhere. I'd like to think that the rest enjoyed staying in that apartment as much as I did.
We had our activities and such in that house. The way I never really could with my family because of the constant movement and such. And besides, staying with your family is entirely different from living with your friends. It was a great breath of fresh air for me. Of course, among all my housemates, my family was the most often to come visit (which is why I found out that I didn't have too much to get too torn up about). When I was moving around, I missed home-cooked food and cheap street food and being with the people instead of sitting in a fancy restaurant almost every night while everyone was out enjoying themselves (it was fine when I was a kid. I didn't know the difference. But it got more difficult as I got older. And yes I lived in hotels when I was younger). When I came to college, I was no longer the well-dressed, boring, always-had-money-to-spend, academic, appearance bothering kid that I used to be because that's how I was trained to be all my life. To make it short, I let my freak flag fly. Sparks flew and so did the jokes. It was all very fun to me.
My housemate was a very well-liked person, and he always had visitors. I on the other hand, was the complete opposite. But many of his friends, became my friends. I like to think that they too enjoyed my company to a certain extent and they'd hang out pretty often at our house. It was a good time. Everything I needed was in that house. It was very close to what I'd pictured as a home. I had my close family of friends and I really did enjoy myself. I had great adventures with said friends and they enriched my life in a way that I'd always had pictured a close group of friends would.
Since they were also my college-mates, they helped me with a lot of my assignments and I almost never helped them with theirs. Because I was a clueless audio student and they were 'clueful' students in their field. It was a place of activity as well as tranquility for all of my housemates and I. It was my first apartment when I had a significant other. It was the setting to the time when I properly discovered infatuation and then attraction. It was a setting to heartbreak. It was the setting to my housemate's green screen project of which I had great fun just watching them do their work.
* I know this is going to sound kiddie. But I also had great fun when they let me hold the camera for the lack of another person around for them to hold the camera. It was actually a relief to not have to act but also an honour to appear in their productions in the past. And I reiterate that acting and visual appearances just aren't my thing.
It's funny how such a place can be of such great significance to me, but there still are some great friends of mine who have not seen my apartment (drawbacks of moving around. friends aren't around). It was the place where I developed my guitar playing and sadly, annoyed all of my housemates with my constant "Smoke On The Water" and "Little Wing" riffings. My housemates were my first guitar teachers and because they were all very, very much into music, they were also great musical influences. I rediscovered my "Penang music" and learnt a bit more about the significance of metal in that house.
Over the years, a few people have moved in as some of the original occupants moved out. They were all good friends and good people. I feel like that house had never left its' family. Then came the time I had to move out as my college course was over. I was graduating with a farcical Diploma in Sound and Music Design. I was a farcically certified audio engineer.
At the end of June 2009, I moved out of A2-3-2, Cyberia, Cyberjaya. Whatever road it was I couldn't be bothered to remember. I had one last day in that house. Turns out it wasn't the only last for me on that day. I had a bee in my bonnet, and I was badly stung. The sting lasted for weeks but that day marked the end of any significance. It soon escaped. But before I was badly stung, it took care of me right at the end of my rent. I still miss my old place, as well as the events that conspired. My experience there as a whole. The very first place I had learnt to call home. I don't believe people can forget a significant past (of course you can let go of it but not forget it). Thank goodness for that too. Because I never want to forget any of my significant past.
I've started a new life down under. Again, everything is completely different, and yes, I am thoroughly enjoying my experience here. However, as always, I look back at my past and I always miss it. Now that I finally feel like I've had a home, I miss the past even more.
You know the old saying "home is where the heart is"??? Well, I think I left my heart at home.......
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